Kilroy I am lost. What is life? Every day is the same. I have no purpose or goals. I dont hate life nor do I enjoy it. I just exist. I dont know what to do because I dont know what I want. All I know what I want is not be like this.@Anonymous
Life is a darkened hall of mirrors lit only by your emotions. I don’t know what the fuck I just said, but my intent is this: You are life, you are the world, you are everything there is.
Does life exist beyond you? Yes, sure, but from your frame of reference, the others in it aren’t like you; they don’t think like you; they don’t see things like you.
Without you to give it meaning, this universe of ours is meaningless, and without you here to experience it, it doesn’t exist. Being alive is to perceive the passing of time, while being dead is to be stuck in a single moment for all of eternity.
I don’t think it’s wrong to say that a person committing suicide isn’t killing themselves. Instead, they’re destroying everything that ever was or will be.
In the end, all of this will have been no more than a bunch of sensations that amounted to nothing of consequence, no matter how good or bad you thought things were, and in some super fucked up metaphysical way, every sensation ever experienced was determined before time, before it was possible to even experience them.
I think it’s better to have no opinions on anything than it is to hate everything, though I doubt you are truly without any opinions. In any case, the fewer your beliefs, the freer you are in the grand scheme of things, so instead of doing the same thing you did yesterday, try something new today with all this time you have.
If you need some help, just ask someone; they’re just as clueless as you when it comes to the big picture, but maybe you can trade some puzzle pieces. Maybe one of theirs will fit.